In My Daughter’s Eyes, The Amazing Year of My Diagnosis

Created January 2018

I actually wrote this post in my notebook a couple of years ago. And with Maggie’s fourth birthday quickly approaching decided to revisit.

This song is one of those you’ve heard a million times and never meant too much. But fast forward to a new season of life and it hit me in heart. 

During Maggie’s first year of life, I had many moments where I never felt more weak, powerless and lost. Looking back, I know that if I hadn’t had her during that time, it would have been so easy to give up. So easy to focus too much on myself and my health and I would have surely drowned in anxiety and self-pity. But Maggie never failed me.

She didn’t care if there had been a bad doctor’s appointment that day or if my body ached to the point I didn’t want to get out of the bed. It didn’t stop her from needing someone to pick her up, feed her, change her, and love on her. And it definitely didn’t stop her from letting out her first real giggle, from starting to crawl, or the first time she called me “Mama.” 

Maggie needed me and I needed to get stronger for her. There were so many times I wanted to give-up and she is the reason I kept going. The reason I keep going. And I will thank God every day for her the rest of my life. 

Because of my daughter, 2017 is not the year of my cancer diagnosis, surgery, and radiation treatment. 2017 was the year I became a mom. The year I learned how to love deeper than I thought possible. The year I was able to block out pain and distractions to be present so that I could enjoy my little family. The year God created a human who thought I truly hung the moon. 

Praise you, Father, from whom all blessings flow. 

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