My Hurricane on Lake Pontchartrain in New Orleans

Hurricane by Band of Heathens

I was born in the rain
on the Pontchartrain
Underneath the Louisiana moon
I don't mind the strain 
of a hurricane
They come around every June
The high black water 
the devil's daughter
She's hard, she's cold 
and she's mean
But nobody taught her
it takes a lot of water
To wash away New Orleans

June officially kicks off hurricane season. 

It’s also kicks off a bit unease in my soul. May 31st is the day I received my cancer diagnosis. June 22nd is the day I had my surgery. They told me about the scars everyone would be able to see. But it’s the unseen scars that leave a deeper mark. 

Recently, I heard this song and was taken back to all of those emotions three years ago. It was awful. It was a really hard time and the devil’s daughter came at me at every corner.


I rode in the passenger seat of my car, quietly staring out the window. Chase was driving and my parents were in the back. Five-month old Maggie had stayed at our house in Petal with her amazing grandparents, BB and Dot Dot. We were headed to New Orleans to spend the first of five nights. I had to be at Tulane Medical Center by 5am for surgery the next morning. We made several trips to New Orleans leading up to this one for pre-op appointments. Every time we drove across Lake Pontchartrain, Chase would play the song Hurricane by Band of Heathens because he knew I loved it. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but it somehow would always calm my nerves as we entered Orleans Parish. I remember thinking I should probably be listening to praise and worship music instead, but that song is where my soul has found rest before any doctor’s appointment, procedure, or surgery.

As we drove across Lake Pontchartrain on June 21, 2017 and listened to this song like we always did, it was so ironic because an actual hurricane was making its way toward New Orleans. Rain pelted the car, the wind blew, and the sky was a mixture of dark heavy clouds. But a little hurricane doesn’t scare New Orleans, so my early morning date with the surgeon never wavered.


I didn’t sleep the night before surgery. I stared at the ceiling of our AirBnB and listened to the mix of sirens and drunk laughter that perpetually come from the streets of New Orleans. I remember thinking I should’ve drank more wine at dinner and maybe I’d be asleep. I tossed and turned and my chest ached because I had to quit breastfeeding cold turkey before the surgery and radiation. So I looked through every single picture and video I had taken of Maggie on my phone and quietly cried.

I didn’t think 5am would ever come.

But it did.

And then I was sitting in the smallest pre-op room EVER with Chase, Daddy and Mama. I was feeling ok, Chase and I even snapped this picture as we waited. #thyroidcancer Then the door swung open.

In a matter of moments, that tiny room was full of what felt like 50 doctors and surgeons and nurses and anesthesiologists and their cousins. All telling me all of the awful things that could happen to me during my expected 4-7 hour surgery and I needed to quickly sign the endless forms thrown in my lap so they wouldn’t be held liable if they messed up. The nurse started my IV with a saline flush and asked me questions about my sweet 5 month old baby girl who was 2 hours away. As soon as I could taste the salt on my tongue, the panic set in. My chest got tight, my hands shook, I started sweating… they kept telling me I had to sit down but if I had to wait another moment I thought I might die. Chase kept his arm around me, comforting me, telling me everything was going to be fine and it would be over soon. My mom harassed the nurses and doctors with every question possible. My dad tried to tell awkward stories to distract me and get me to laugh.

As the army of eager residents started to wheel my hospital bed out of the room, I saw tears in my family’s eyes as they told me they loved me and would see me in a few minutes. I felt such guilt for putting them through this awful day. But praise the Good Lord for Propofol because seconds later, I was out. And would be for the next 7.5 hours.


Little did I know what I was in for when I would wake up. The days, weeks, months and now years following that day would bring pain and weaknesses I never before experienced. They would also bring a desperate need to live life more abundantly. 

After that surgery, I would be humbled and stripped of any pride or belief that my achievements define who I am. I would experience pain and God on a deeper level than ever before and I would not be the same. God would become greater in my life. I’d gain a greater awareness of when the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy me. My family would become greater. All the little shiz that used to get to me, would become less.

I couldn’t have made it through that day and every day since without God and my family and friends.


Since that particular drive across Lake Pontchartrain, I have had my ups and down… but the one thing that remains the same is my faith continues to strengthen. So I guess it will take a lot more water, to wash away this ole girl.

The high black water, 
the devil's daughter
She's hard, she's cold 
and she's mean.
But nobody taught her, 
it takes a lot of water
To wash away New Orleans.



30 Things I Have Learned in 30 Years

I have always been a fan of birthdays. And the older I get, the more I appreciate celebrating another year God gave me or my loved ones. Last year I read Emily P. Freeman’s book The Next Right Thing and a practice I learned from her has been reflecting on the season that just ended before starting a new one. 

As I turn 31 this week, I decided to name 30 things I’ve learned. I set a timer for 20 minutes so I wouldn’t overthink it. So these are in no order of importance and I’m sure I could change up the list a million times if I sat with it long enough. But I hope you enjoy and can maybe grab at least one nugget from the list to encourage you. I would love to hear things that you have learned during your life that have stuck with you in the comments section below. 

Some of it 
you learn the hard way
Some of it 
you read on a page
Some of it
 comes from heartbreak
Most of it 
comes with age
And none of it 
ever comes easy
A bunch of it 
you maybe can't use
I know I don't probably know 
what I think I do
But there's somethin' to 
some of it.

30 Things I Have Learned in 30 Years

  • Mama ain’t a shrink, Daddy ain’t a bank, and God ain’t a wishin’ well – Eric Church
  • Rest is not a luxury in life. Rest is a requirement.
  • Being a mom means drinking your coffee cold and your beer hot. 
  • Men need to feel respected and women need to feel loved.
  • Jesus still heals. 
  • God is real. 
  • The Holy Spirit gives us discernment & abundant peace.
  • The more stuff you have, the more stuff you need.
  • I love to write and it has become my daily therapy. 
  • The Bible is actually the most exciting, scandalous, life-giving book I have ever read. 
  • Infrared saunas provide amazing pain relief for most all body ailments. 
  • Yoga triggers the parasympathetic nervous system forcing our bodies into a healing state. (click here to order a yoga mat!)
  • The power of praying with my husband. 
  • A person is what he or she thinks about all day. 
  • Reflecting on our most recent season is healthy and productive before moving forward. 
  • Faith is only a muscle that can be strengthen and flexed in the unknown. 
  • It should be mandatory that all yoga pants have pockets. Click here for another pair I have and love!
  • God can speak to us through our dreams. 
  • You’ll never find an abundant life trying to meet everyone else’s expectations of you.
  • History is awesome. I especially love learning about civil war and WWII and I love researching family history.
  • Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. – Viktor Frankl
  • Sometimes, we need to stop talking and just listen. 
  • In order to lead, we must first follow. 
  • We grow when we are planted close to those who nurture us through the sunshine and rain.
  • My favorite place in the world is at the end of a dirt road
  • Life isn’t fair but tomorrow always has hope. 
  • A loyal and loving dog can change your life. [Dog spelled backwards spells God. Just sayin… 🙂 ]
  • Babies remind you how quickly time goes by and how important sleep is. 
  • At the end of the day, your children just need to feel loved. Everything else doesn’t matter. 
  • It is never too late be whoever you want to be.
  • I can survive as long as I have my family, my bible, and a Dollar General.

And here is a blessing I am praying over the people in my life as I move into this new season. It is from Numbers 6 if you would like to look it up. Talk soon! 

The Lord bless you
And keep you
Make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His
Face toward you
And give you peace.
 
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children.

Far from the Shallow

SD

As I picked a song to re-enter the blogging world,  I decided on Shallow from the most recent remake of the movie A Star is Born. It’s a song Chase and I have belted at the tops of our lungs in the car. It’s a song that has gave me chills and made me ugly cry because the lyrics hit me right in the feels.

Since my cancer diagnosis almost 3 years ago, I’ve had an overwhelming awareness of time and its fleetingness. I can’t bear the thought of wasting another moment God gives me on this earth. I don’t want to settle for “just ok.” I want to be the mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend that God created me to be. 

And after a much needed anniversary vaycay last May, Chase and I started asking each other hard questions… and answering honestly. 

Tell me somethin', girl
Are you happy in this 
modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin' else 
you're searchin' for?
I'm falling
In all the good times 
I find myself
Longin' for change
And in the bad times 
I fear myself.


Tell me something, boy
Aren't you tired 
tryin' to fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain't it hard 
keeping it so hardcore?
I'm falling
In all the good times 
I find myself
Longing for a change
And in the bad times 
I fear myself.

In August, I was knocked to my knees when I was told my cancer was back. After lots of praying and feeling that God was calling me to rest, I requested a leave of absence from my employer and they graciously approved me for 3 months leave.

I had my most recent neck ultrasound on February 14, 2020. The spot that was there in August was actually a little smaller and the was no new growths. For the first time, I truly began believing and receiving that I am healed and the cancer is gone, in Jesus Name. I have never felt more mentally free since that moment I decided that I will not let the enemy have a hold on my health another day. With that freedom also came clarity and courage to start taking the steps to create the life I wanted for myself and my family.

The weeks following February 14th have been a whirlwind. 

I respectfully turned in my resignation to a company and manager and industry that have been so good to me for 8+ years. (I’ll talk more on that in a future post.) My husband is staying at his current job that he loves so much but also pursuing his dream of starting up his own business on the side.

And though we deeply love our friends and community in Mississippi, both of us have longed to raise our children in Alabama closer to our families. 

So we stood at the edge of the unknown and together, we jumped.

I'm off the deep end, 
watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, 
where they can't hurt us
We're far 
from the shallow now.

We put our house up for sale and then on March 14th, Two Men and a Truck were in our little drive way loading up our entire life in a matter of a couple of hours… from our apple juice stained couch to all the random pictures on the walls that held our most precious memories. After many tears and lots of long hugs, we said goodbye and headed North East on I-59 exactly 101 miles to our new home in rural Alabama. 


Another curve ball came when the first morning we woke up in our new home, the COVID-19 quarantine began… did anyone else feel like Frozen II‘s theme song became the theme song for the world? Or maybe its just me because we’ve sang “Into the Unknown” 10,000 times in our house, lol. We found ourselves in a worldwide pandemic still with a mortgage due on our old house that had not sold yet, rent to pay on the new house, and transitioning to a one income family for the first time in our marriage.

So here we are… starting our new life in a time that we’re faced with so many unknowns. But so are most people, right? Though there are moments of doubt, it feels so good to let go of what I’ve thought life should look like. But let’s be real again. When did your life quit looking like you thought it would? For me, it stopped looking like I thought it should as soon as the doctor told my sheltered, 27 year old self, “Well Mrs. Elmore, the biopsy confirmed what we were afraid of… it is cancer.”

So whether you just received a hard diagnosis, are grieving the loss of a loved one, or are just trying to survive our world’s latest changes and quarantine life — Life just got real for us all. 

And in a time where so much is out of our control, you do get to choose what happens next in your own world. Do you let the fear of the unknown overtake you?  Or do you treat this as a time for rest, renewal and new beginnings? Let us make it a time to prioritize the things that bring us joy. A time to explore that thing we can’t quit thinking about.

And more than anything, I pray this is time for us all to lean into God’s word for direction and purpose. And when we are faced with an opportunity to make a change or start something new, lets skip the shallow end all together. May we all jump straight into the deep end, full of hope and faith.







IMC Class Project

Update From Kate – April 2020

April 2020
My desire is this will be an encouraging place where you will find:PURPOSE in your pain, STRENGTH in your struggles, & HOPE in the hard times.

Oh, hey y’all!

It’s been a minute since I was actively posting on KateElmore.com so I thought I should say hello again, welcome, and give a quick update.

Initially, I started this blog to help myself process life after being diagnosed with cancer at 27 years old. Shortly after I started it, I gave birth to our son, who is now the good looking, blonde headed, 18 month old, hunk of pure love you see below. 

I had planned to pick up posting again right after he was born…

But let’s be real… 

Life with a newborn and a strong-willed toddler was chaos. Some days good and some days were just flat out hard. Not to mention trying to get my thyroid medicine and hormone levels back in check post-pregnancy. And then go back to working full-time with two babies in daycare. Whew… just thinking about it makes me tired again!haha

I kept thinking I would start posting again but I just told myself I didn’t have the time. Which isn’t completely untrue, but honestly…

I realized I just wasn’t quite ready to share my story yet. Partly because I was still deep in the pain and suffering of my illness and it felt too unstable to share. But mostly because I was still so lost. I was desperately searching for rest and hope and freedom when it seemed that my circumstances were trapping me in a life of perpetual expectations and exhaustion. Bottom line, I didn’t know the purpose of my pain yet. And pain without a purpose is just straight up suffering.

Fast forward to today and  so much has happened since my last post in September 2018. Lots of doctor’s appointments, sleepless nights, and lots of what seemed like unanswered prayers.

But, man oh man, those have been greatly outweighed by some pretty awesome moments. We brought a healthy baby boy home from the hospital to an excited big sister. I learned more about managing my health. Chase and I started reading our bibles together. I even went through a christian yoga instructor program which was super cool.

We have celebrated big and little moments. We have intentionally put our phones down more to be present with each other.  About a year ago, Chase and I named (out loud and to each other) our hopes and dreams. We are now passionately and patiently pursuing them as God holds the reins.

So though I started this blog for myself, I feel called to keep at it for something greater than myself. Whatever pain or suffering you’ve experienced, or maybe are currently experiencing, God can use your pain to change the lives of others. You can be that hope for someone else.

"I raised you up for 
this very purpose, 
that I might display 
my power in you and 
that my name might be 
proclaimed in all the earth.” 
Romans 9:17

Trust me, friend. Your life is more than a diagnosis, more than endless doctors visits, more than constant grief, and more than a packed out schedule.

Keep hanging around if you want to hear more about my journey from feeling exhausted and broken and helpless to feeling encouraged, empowered, and hopeful.

Life is hard, no doubt.

But, we were made for this!


My desire is this will be an encouraging place where you will find:

PURPOSE in your pain,

STRENGTH in your struggles,

& HOPE in the hard times.