The Life of the Party, honoring Virginia Perkins Derby

Picture taken in 1955

These are my notes from the words I spoke at my beloved grandmother’s funeral on February 6, 2023. Posting them here so I may always have them.

Celebrating the Legacy of Virginia Perkins Derby.

How do you sum up 96 years into a few minutes? Well, you just can’t, and I won’t try.

I will tell you a few things I believe were important and special about my grandmother, Virginia Perkins Derby. 

These are random notes I have put in my phone over the last week and to keep me on track and from rambling – I will read them straight from the list.

She believed in faith and family and fun. She loved people. She loved to talk. She believed in slowing down to enjoy a cup of coffee. She believed in fellowship. She loved playing cards. Some of my favorite memories are heading to her house as soon as I got home from school to grab a coke, some snacks, and play countless rounds of blackjack. 

She loved her family. She loved Anniston. She loved her mama and daddy. Her big sister. Her nieces and nephew. Her cousins. Her college roommates. She loved all of her family and friends.

She loved her church, St. James Episcopal Church in Livingston, Alabama. She loved her hometown church, St. Michael’s Episcopal Church in Anniston, Alabama. Her great grandfather was John Ward Noble, who built the second episcopal church in Anniston in 1888.

Grandmama once told Paige and I of a trip she took to Washington DC when my grandfather and her were “courting.” They were visiting my great-aunt Carrie and while there, my grandfather proposed to her. When I asked what she said, she told him, “I will have to think about it.”

  “What?! How long did you think about it?” I asked. “About 3 months,” she replied. She told us she had a full life in Anniston and he was asking her to leave it all and move to York. “I had to think about it,” she repeated with a beaming smile on her face.

She believed In celebrating life – in getting dressed up, dancing, setting the table and eating on the good China because you aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. 

When she came to auburn when Al and I were in college – all of our friends loved her. Al & I are both so grateful for all of the tailgates and Auburn football games we were able to enjoy with her.

She was truly always the life of the party.

She was an exceptional hostess. I can still see her dancing with Hiram in the living room while Mr. Patrenos played the piano at her joyous Christmas parties. I remember thinking I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. 

She loved my brother and I – we are her only grandchildren. And she made such an effort to teach us essential skills for life such as table manners, dancing, and entertainment. I remember her trying to teach Al how to dance before they got married 😉

She said things like “hells bells, “hold your britches,” and at bed time, “time to fly up.”

She cooked my dad lunch every single day he worked at the bank. And would get so mad at him if we’re late or wouldn’t show. 

She was a very talented seamstress and made lots of beautiful pieces of clothing like the dress and coat Maggie has on today. 

She was so incredibly proud of her son and daughter and all of their accomplishments. 

She adored my mama. She loved her son in law, Ben. 

She constantly told me how good of a husband chase was to me and was baffled he cooked dinner most nights.

She admired Paige for balancing work and 3 kids and… my brother. 

Through her life, she was known by many nicknames.

Big Virginia

Perk – to her father and husband 

Mama – to her son and daughter 

Grandmama – to her grandchildren and great grandchildren

Mrs. D to her daughter-in-law and son-in-law 

Thank you to those who sat with her the last 2 years – thank you to Annie, Glendora, Marilyn, Bertha and a few others.

My grandmother was a constant in so many lives and though life feels off balance with her gone I know no one believed in the resurrection more than her and believed it was a celebration. 

So though we may all shed some tears, let’s make today a celebration of her 96 years of life and knowing she has entered the life everlasting. 

This morning, God told me to go read Proverbs 31. And when I did I just cried. I found the perfect description of the life my grandmother lived. So to finish, I want to read aloud verses 25 through 31.

²⁵She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

In loving memory of
Virginia Noble Perkins Derby
Born: May 28, 1926
Died: January 30, 2023