Three years ago, when my daughter was only 4 months old, I was diagnosed with cancer. After an invasive surgery and radiation, I was wiped out. Just when I thought I was beginning to catch my breath, we found out I was pregnant with my son. Nine challenging months followed until our perfect and healthy baby boy was born.
Still fighting the cancer, learning to be a mom and wife while also working full-time just about killed me. I was worn out mentally and physically and needed relief. Though I’ve always referenced my bible, it took on a whole knew importance as I clung to each word for life and energy to get through the next day.
Sweet friends, the Word of God truly is life-giving and health to our bones. We need it every single day. And you know what I discovered? I am not hopeless. I am not forgotten. I am a child of God. With God as my strength, I am a might warrior!
I decided I did not walk through fire to smell like smoke. I had to go through hell because God is going to show the beauty he makes from ashes.
My husband and I chose to put powerful scriptures all around our home to help keep our heads on straight and hearts centered on God. Especially with the chaos of two toddlers and life going on around us. It was a GAME CHANGER. It changed the way we handle situations, how we interact with others, how we treat one another, and most importantly it strengthened our Faith.
So after quitting my dependable job because I felt God was calling me to something new, I have spent 2020 seeking new opportunities and passions where I can encourage and empower others. Which is how we are to this point and are faithfully launching Word Warriors! A business founded on the purpose to use the Word of God to fight all of our battles, big or small. To work to put scripture on everyday items to remind you or your loved one that you are a mighty warrior who cannot be defeated with God at your side.
Fun Fact: When Jesus was led into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit, even He was tempted by the devil. Luke 4:2 says, “He ate nothing during those (40) days, and at the end of them he was hungry.” So when Jesus was starving and desperate, that is when the devil came at him. Not just once, but three times. But do you know how Jesus defeated him all three times? With scripture. With the Word of God. The devil tried to twist the truth but Jesus knew what was written and recited it right back at him. Then the devil left him, Luke 4:13. Boom. …
Whether it is cancer, anxiety, depression, grief, or any other uncertainties… You are not alone and you are not defenseless. This is how you fight your battles. You are a Word Warrior!
I was born in the rain
on the Pontchartrain
Underneath the Louisiana moon
I don't mind the strain
of a hurricane
They come around every June
The high black water
the devil's daughter
She's hard, she's cold
and she's mean
But nobody taught her
it takes a lot of water
To wash away New Orleans
June officially kicks off hurricane season.
It’s also kicks off a bit unease in my soul. May 31st is the day I received my cancer diagnosis. June 22nd is the day I had my surgery. They told me about the scars everyone would be able to see. But it’s the unseen scars that leave a deeper mark.
Recently, I heard this song and was taken back to all of those emotions three years ago. It was awful. It was a really hard time and the devil’s daughter came at me at every corner.
I rode in the passenger seat of my car, quietly staring out the window. Chase was driving and my parents were in the back. Five-month old Maggie had stayed at our house in Petal with her amazing grandparents, BB and Dot Dot. We were headed to New Orleans to spend the first of five nights. I had to be at Tulane Medical Center by 5am for surgery the next morning. We made several trips to New Orleans leading up to this one for pre-op appointments. Every time we drove across Lake Pontchartrain, Chase would play the song Hurricane by Band of Heathens because he knew I loved it. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but it somehow would always calm my nerves as we entered Orleans Parish. I remember thinking I should probably be listening to praise and worship music instead, but that song is where my soul has found rest before any doctor’s appointment, procedure, or surgery.
As we drove across Lake Pontchartrain on June 21, 2017 and listened to this song like we always did, it was so ironic because an actual hurricane was making its way toward New Orleans. Rain pelted the car, the wind blew, and the sky was a mixture of dark heavy clouds. But a little hurricane doesn’t scare New Orleans, so my early morning date with the surgeon never wavered.
I didn’t sleep the night before surgery. I stared at the ceiling of our AirBnB and listened to the mix of sirens and drunk laughter that perpetually come from the streets of New Orleans. I remember thinking I should’ve drank more wine at dinner and maybe I’d be asleep. I tossed and turned and my chest ached because I had to quit breastfeeding cold turkey before the surgery and radiation. So I looked through every single picture and video I had taken of Maggie on my phone and quietly cried.
I didn’t think 5am would ever come.
But it did.
And then I was sitting in the smallest pre-op room EVER with Chase, Daddy and Mama. I was feeling ok, Chase and I even snapped this picture as we waited. #thyroidcancer Then the door swung open.
In a matter of moments, that tiny room was full of what felt like 50 doctors and surgeons and nurses and anesthesiologists and their cousins. All telling me all of the awful things that could happen to me during my expected 4-7 hour surgery and I needed to quickly sign the endless forms thrown in my lap so they wouldn’t be held liable if they messed up. The nurse started my IV with a saline flush and asked me questions about my sweet 5 month old baby girl who was 2 hours away. As soon as I could taste the salt on my tongue, the panic set in. My chest got tight, my hands shook, I started sweating… they kept telling me I had to sit down but if I had to wait another moment I thought I might die. Chase kept his arm around me, comforting me, telling me everything was going to be fine and it would be over soon. My mom harassed the nurses and doctors with every question possible. My dad tried to tell awkward stories to distract me and get me to laugh.
As the army of eager residents started to wheel my hospital bed out of the room, I saw tears in my family’s eyes as they told me they loved me and would see me in a few minutes. I felt such guilt for putting them through this awful day. But praise the Good Lord for Propofol because seconds later, I was out. And would be for the next 7.5 hours.
Little did I know what I was in for when I would wake up. The days, weeks, months and now years following that day would bring pain and weaknesses I never before experienced. They would also bring a desperate need to live life more abundantly.
After that surgery, I would be humbled and stripped of any pride or belief that my achievements define who I am. I would experience pain and God on a deeper level than ever before and I would not be the same. God would become greater in my life. I’d gain a greater awareness of when the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy me. My family would become greater. All the little shiz that used to get to me, would become less.
I couldn’t have made it through that day and every day since without God and my family and friends.
Since that particular drive across Lake Pontchartrain, I have had my ups and down… but the one thing that remains the same is my faith continues to strengthen. So I guess it will take a lot more water, to wash away this ole girl.
The high black water,
the devil's daughter
She's hard, she's cold
and she's mean.
But nobody taught her,
it takes a lot of water
To wash away New Orleans.
I have always been a fan of birthdays. And the older I get, the more I appreciate celebrating another year God gave me or my loved ones. Last year I read Emily P. Freeman’s book The Next Right Thing and a practice I learned from her has been reflecting on the season that just ended before starting a new one.
As I turn 31 this week, I decided to name 30 things I’ve learned. I set a timer for 20 minutes so I wouldn’t overthink it. So these are in no order of importance and I’m sure I could change up the list a million times if I sat with it long enough. But I hope you enjoy and can maybe grab at least one nugget from the list to encourage you. I would love to hear things that you have learned during your life that have stuck with you in the comments section below.
Some of it
you learn the hard way
Some of it
you read on a page
Some of it
comes from heartbreak
Most of it
comes with age
And none of it
ever comes easy
A bunch of it
you maybe can't use
I know I don't probably know
what I think I do
But there's somethin' to
some of it.
A loyal and loving dog can change your life. [Dog spelled backwards spells God. Just sayin… 🙂 ]
Babies remind you how quickly time goes by and how important sleep is.
At the end of the day, your children just need to feel loved. Everything else doesn’t matter.
It is never too late be whoever you want to be.
I can survive as long as I have my family, my bible, and a Dollar General.
And here is a blessing I am praying over the people in my life as I move into this new season. It is from Numbers 6 if you would like to look it up. Talk soon!
The Lord bless you
And keep you
Make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His
Face toward you
And give you peace.
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children.
